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Lessons Learned

Miranda and Julio dated for three years. Miranda loved Julio deeply and allowed many things to slide. Independent of their relationship, Julio ran the streets and treated the relationship as an option. When Miranda and Julio traveled to D.R., he insisted they spend their vacations apart with their respective families. While on vacation, they would solely meet up at the airport when it was time to return to the states. Julio had no interest in fostering a relationship with Miranda’s family or friends. Julio was a good lover however, those moments were fleeting, and the pain brought on by remaining in the relationship exceeded any momentary pleasure. Miranda was never a priority in Julio’s life, yet she remained loyal. Recognizing she was deserving of more in life, she never let go of the belief, that she would be able to move on beyond the relationship. Three years passed before Miranda found the courage to leave the relationship. Miranda remained open to the possibility of love with someone else. Months went by before Miranda met a man who treated her like Julio never did. Jose always plans outings with Miranda, he makes her a priority in his life. In the bedroom, there is much to desire and she finds herself remembering Julio however never desiring to return. Julio has begged and pleaded for Miranda to return. He has reached out to Miranda’s family for support but to no avail. Miranda now pities Julio. Independent of all things would never trade Jose for Julio.

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Por Un Galon De Leche

Isabel owned and operated a hair salon in Republica Dominicana for seventeen years. During this time, she managed to marry well based on societal standards. Isabel had two sons and was pregnant with a third. Although established, Isabel sought greater upward mobility. Isabel secured a visa to America while her husband was adamant about never leaving his homeland. With two young boys and pregnant, she left behind the only land she ever knew. Isabel migrated to Union City NJ given its proximity to New York City. Temporarily she settled in an apartment along with her cousin. While working tirelessly in a salon, her cousin assisted with child care. The salon owner offered to sell the business to Isabel with a two-year repayment plan. Isabel accepted the offer and forged ahead. She managed to purchase a home, providing greater comfort for her children while hiring a nanny. Although legally married, her husband resided in Republic Dominicana, and never provided any financial support. Isabel’s oldest son received top honors academically and a full scholarship to attend Brown University, eventually becoming an economist. Her other sons also attended and graduated from their respective colleges. Isabel’s discipline and determination allowed her to forge ahead in life. Her dream created a way for her. Isabel preferred to live life on her terms and not succumb to the whims of a man for her sustenance. Her greatest fear was bringing a man into her home who could potentially compromise her children. So, Isabel never cultivated a romantic relationship. she mentions the importance of companionship even if only to watch a movie and provide commentary.

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Unrequited Love

Noelia was born and raised in Miches, Republica Dominicana. Her family was among one of the most affluent in town. They made their money in real estate. As a young adult, Noelia traveled to America often until deciding on a change of pace and stayed in the states. Noelia took up residency with her uncle and auntie, who had a business renting rooms to boarders. One of the boarders was from Noelia’s hometown, who had entered the country illegally. Mateo was looking to marry someone solely for papers. Young, vibrant, and smitten by Mateo. Noelia jumped at the opportunity. Mateo and Noelia took up residency. Noelia was aware Mateo had a wife and child back in Miches to whom he was devoted. Noelia turned a blind eye. Mateo’s actions were telling. Noelia was never regarded as someone valued or respected. Mateo treated Noelia as a roommate with benefits. Household expenses were split down the middle. When engaging in sex, Mateo took all precautionary measures not to impregnate Noelia. Once Mateo was married long enough to obtain a green card, he divorced Noelia. Mateo’s goal was to bring his wife and child to America. Noelia and Mateo never physically separated. Every summer Mateo traveled to Miches for a month to be with his child’s mother. Still, Noelia held on tight and refused to let him go. While in Miches, Mateo married his child’s mother and quickly filed paperwork so she can join him in America. Noelia now felt threatened given it was a matter of time before his wife would join him in the states. When Mateo’s wife was finally able to enter the country legally, he got her an apartment in Queens, NY. Mateo kept paying half the rent in the apartment he shared with Noelia however every weekend he now spent with his wife in Queens, NY. Mateo then decided to move his wife into another apartment just blocks away from Noelia given it made things easier. Mateo informs Noelia he will continue to pay half of the rent for another six months. Noelia decides she will leave the state and move near her relatives in Florida. During this time of transition, Mateo moves out and is living with his wife full-time. Every day at 5 am on his way to work, Mateo stops in Noelia’s apartment for a cup of tea.

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Marriage of Convenience

Lucinda met Kofi online. They made arrangements to meet. Lucinda’s first impression of Kofi was quiet and reserved, not her usual type. She felt there was a connection. They dated for several months. Lucinda was established unlike Kofi working under the table and living in the country illegally although a hard worker. Lucinda wanted to help Kofi. She hired an attorney, married Kofi. and he was able to acquire working papers within 90 days. Once Kofi had proper documentation, he enrolled in school, obtained his college degree, and worked his way up the corporate ladder. Kofi handled all financial responsibilities within the household, ensuring Lucinda was provided for. By all accounts, Lucinda was happy, she kept it sexy. On the very day, Kofi received his permanent green card everything shifted. Kofi now chose which bill he was going to pay. He would not come home for days and when he returned the indifference was jarring. Going out to dinner, now became a chore and deemed frivolous by Kofi. The nuances of the marriage evaporated. Lucinda felt she was the reason everything changed although could not understand why. Months passed before Lucinda approached Kofi about the break within the marriage. Kofi replies, I did not marry you for a green card. As though, betrayed by his own words. That is when Lucinda realized, the marriage was a lie. She was solely Kofi’s come-up. Lucinda paved the way for Kofi’s upward mobility. Lucinda understood why someone would go to great lengths although had there been any transparency she would have happily married for monetary compensation instead of heartache.

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Nuevo Amanecer

Junior worked as a sous chef in an exclusive high-end restaurant. Working seventy-eighty hour work weeks were the norm. Independent of his schedule, Junior managed to have a girlfriend and a seven-month-old baby girl. While home with his daughter, Junior had a sharp pain in his body and bled out profusely. He managed to call his girlfriend and 911. Doctors did not anticipate Junior was going to make it. This is where the story begins. Junior became unconscious, left his body, and his world exploded open, just like a kaleidoscope. He never quite saw things the same, he was forever changed. He resigned from being a sous chef. Material possessions, worldly trappings no longer had a grasp. Fear, stress, and worry, no longer carried any weight. He began to meditate, to align himself and recognize the vastness of the universe. He decided to become a barber. Now he resides in his authenticity. He speaks of not feeling satiated by one woman. The need for variety and spicing things up. He welcomes an open relationship. Be it polyamory, swinger lifestyle, BDSM, or sister wife. Junior is keen on not having things get stale. He wants mystery and intrigue in his relationships. The notion of being autopilot in the bedroom, being able to anticipate every step, position, and minute till it is all over is anti-climatic. Junior believes his girlfriend is very verbal about her needs in the bedroom however has no idea what a man wants given men tend to remain silent. His girlfriend becomes defensive and responds with, am I not good enough for you? Not concerned with satisfying him. Junior believes relationships would have more staying power if spontaneity were factored in. He believes many women give mixed signals, given often they are solely interested in having their sexual needs met, while not wanting a relationship. Many men also feel they rather be in a relationship for the sole purpose of sex. In Juniors’ relationship communication is gravely lacking. When Junior voices his sexual needs, his significant other has a series of excuses as to why she can not oblige.

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Boomerang

In their twenty-six-year marriage, much had occurred. Zulady and Josue had three beautiful boys. Zulady deeply loved her husband and still felt enamored by him. She had a happy home life until she discovered Josue’s indiscretions. Zulady equates her feelings to the irreparable shatter of a crystal vase. Things were never the same. She chose to stay in the marriage given her convictions. Zulady felt betrayed by her husband. As the years passed, she forgave Josue and put it all behind her. Somehow they managed to rekindle things. One day Zulady and Josue had an outing and invited his best friend along with the brother of the best friend. While dining at a restaurant, Zulady excuses herself and goes to the restroom, on her way back to the table, his best friend grabs and kisses her. Although riddled with guilt, Zulady returns his advances.
Texting and phone calls become the norm. An agreed-upon time and location are decided. The affair is consummated. Zulady thoroughly enjoyed the experience although felt shame in its aftermath. She asked if I thought less of her given her infraction. I assured Zulady, I was not in a position to judge. While sharing guilt and shame are a complete waste of time.

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Keeping Appearances

She asks Freddie if I am legit to share the story. Freddie nods in approval and, the story begins. She introduces herself as Aldi, a demure older woman. Aldi confesses she was born a male. Looking at Aldi, there is nothing that would imply she is not female. Her speech, demeanor, appearance, gestures are precise and scream woman. Nothing contradicts the obvious. Aldi comes across as affable, warm, endearing, a kind soul. She laments the passing of her lover of fifteen years, who was brutally murdered a year ago when visiting his homeland of Honduras. Aldi met her lover when she was fifty and he twenty-one. They were together for seven years when her lover announces it was time to have a family. At twenty-eight, Reynaldo met and married a young girl, within two years, a baby boy was born. Reynaldo devised a plan, so Aldi can meet and befriend the wife and become a part of the family. When the wife was to head home from the hospital, Aldi posed as the cab driver and slowly a friendship blossomed. The wife never suspected anything, besides Aldi was significantly older. Aldi grew to love the child as though he were her very own. Having a relationship with the wife allowed Aldi to be included in familial events. Reynaldo had a longer and deeper connection with Aldi than the wife. With Reynaldo’s passing, Aldi felt tremendous remorse for the ongoing relationship during the marriage and wanted to confess everything.

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