Collateral damage of the immigrant

Fara’s parents informed her, she was solely going to Haiti for summer vacation. Fast forward two months and Fara is being fitted for school uniforms, that is how Fara realized she was not returning to Brooklyn. This event forever changed Fara’s outlook on life. While in Haiti, Fara resided with an auntie who treated her well. Fara never wanted for material things, rather she grappled with feelings of abandonment which were elusive to articulate, as a seven-year-old. Friendships in her life tended to be seasonal. She never allowed anyone to become too close for fear of things ending. The slightest infraction in a friendship or relationship is grounds for ending the alliance. Fara is hypervigilant about protecting herself. During winter and summer breaks Fara returned to Brooklyn and was reunited with her family. Fara’s older siblings lost themselves with the wrong crowd. As a consequence, Fara’s parents reasoned sending her to Haiti would allow her to be raised in a different environment, as well as foster a fresh mindset, and it worked. Between the ages of seven and thirteen Fara resided in Haiti. Once her parents decided to bring Fara back to Brooklyn permanently, irreparable damage had ensued. Fara was riddled with resentment toward her mother. It took years for her mother to grasp the gravity of Fara’s feelings of being disenfranchised.

Laborinto de mi Vida

On a cold winter nite, December 21st, 1957, Genova arrived in New York City from La Republica Dominicana. Thirty-two years old and with just enough money to rent a furnished room in the upper west side. In the ’60s the upper west side was a far cry from what it is today. No command of the English language, “una mano atras y otra alante” as said in Spanish, “not a pot to pee in.” What Genova lacked in financial resources, she overcompensated with gumption. Getting acclimated to American culture was quite jarring coming from a culture in which everyone knows their neighbors, and customarily treated with warmth, dignity, and seen. Genova was consumed by upward mobility. The first task was securing the resources to purchase a house back home, so all six of her children can once again live together under one roof. Within three years the mission was accomplished. Although her children were keenly aware of their mothers’ sacrifices, being apart weighed heavily on them. Having graduated from the third grade, Genova was relegated to working in factories as a seamstress, potato peeler, kitchen of restaurants to name a few. With savings from multiple jobs, she moved into a five-bedroom apartment in Sugar Hill, Harlem. She rented the bedrooms to other newly arrived immigrants, which paid her rent and provided surplus. Genova offered cooking services to the boarders for an additional fee. Aside from boarders, cooking services, she provided baby-sitting services as well. As a child, she would tell adults premonitions despite her pious mother frowning on this gift. While in Harlem far away from her mother’s disapproval, she visited a local botanica and purchased a deck of tarot cards and taught herself how to read the cards. She has always been intrinsically connected to her sixth sense. Once she started providing tarot services business soared. People learned of her through word of mouth. Walking into her living room closely resembled a waiting room in a doctor’s office. Well-heeled individuals, from all walks of life, ranging from a journalist, wife of a physician, big-time drug dealers, and countless others as repeat customers. Genova even had customers who spoke no Spanish and had friends translate readings, as customers kept notes in a journal. She had customers calling from as far as Peru for readings. Genova also prepared Banos’ when clients required spiritual cleansing. Banos’ consisted of various hojas among other ingredients. Banos’ ranged in price between $100 and $200, the business was fruitful. Working incessantly, numerous side hustles, living below her means, she managed to purchase additional homes in La Republic Dominicana, as rental properties. Single handed securing visas and permanent residency for all six of her children to join her in America.

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT

Leonora looked like the stereotypical Latina. Waist-length curly hair, hourglass figure, inherited from the ancestors. Beautiful smile, all-around a looker. A very personable and sweet girl. A ton of fun to be around. Leonora recently completed her master’s in nursing, single, and living her very best life. Leonora was 27 and beginning to feel the pressures of not being engaged or married unlike many of her sorority sisters. Leonora had a lover, whom she worshipped and delighted in his nectar. She and her lover were involved well beyond the expiration date of the average affair. Her lover would call her late into the night when he was certain his wife was asleep and they would speak for hours. Leonora’s family was entirely against the relationship given Mateo was married although keeping appearances superseded how they felt about him. There was nothing Leonora’s family could do to sway her into ending things with her lover. The constant familial scrutiny only compelled her to keep the relationship a secret and pretend it was over. Leonora met Solano through her childhood friend. Solano had done exceptionally well for himself in investment banking and by all appearances had quite the future ahead of him and was ready for marriage. Upon meeting Leonora, Solano was immediately smitten, within six months they were engaged. Throughout the courtship, Leonora maintained allegiance to Solano. A wedding was planned while no attention to detail was spared. The wedding was scheduled at a cathedral with a year-long waitlist. The veil alone was 100 feet long. Two hundred and fifty guests confirmed. White Beach, Boracay Aklan, Philippines was confirmed as the honeymoon destination. The evening before the nuptials, Leonora was nowhere to be found. She had decided to spend the evening with her lover.

Labyrinth

Carolina worked as a bottle girl in an underground after-hours spot, with her allure, body, and personality, an average night yielded between $1,000 and $2,000 in tips. After numerous attempts at the 9 to 5 world, the numbers simply did not add up. Working forty hours per week at $15.00 per hour, after taxes the balance did not even cover room and board, in New York City. Besides, she truly felt alive and in her element after hours. Being popular with the customers garnered a great deal of jealousy amongst fellow bottle girls. Carolina had a knack for men with deep pockets, independent of their marital status. She bewitched the owner of the establishment where she worked, trusting abundance would flow. Quickly the lifestyle ensued. Jet-setting became her new norm, knee-deep in love, Carolina was that girl. The outpouring of love and affection (love bombing)was exceptional until Lorenzo alienated Carolina. He placed her in a high rise apartment, within a gated community, like a caged bird, while disappearing for weeks on end. Left without money or food, Carolina had to fend for herself, lacking in resources, she reached out to relatives for some sustenance. Carolina was undeterred by Lorenzo’s wife back in the states however clueless to his second wife and kids in Panama. Learning of his second wife left Carolina feeling lonely, desperate, and destitute. Patiently hoping for her lover’s return. As Mistress, holidays were reserved for wives, so Carolina was granted time before or strictly following the holiday, never during. The wives knew of Carolina, as she knew of the wives although no one dared to leave their covenant. Lorenzo excelled at grooming thirsty young girls who could easily be inspired/manipulated by the illusion of a lifestyle. Lorenzo frowned upon any sign of autonomy amongst his women. Needy co-dependent and grossly insecure were pre-requisites. Any sort of fraternizing without Lorenzo always required his consent. Approved outings were routinely subject to a last-minute cancellation by Lorenzo, just because he lived in perpetual fear of his women conspiring against him. Independent of having two wives and a mistress, Lorenzo routinely sought out additional women and never concealed anything. As a means to keep women away, Carolina often participated in dalliances with Lorenzo although nothing ever tamed him. After years of living in a labyrinth with Lorenzo, Carolina’s sole desire was a child which Lorenzo immediately denied ending everything for Carolina.

Poly Solo

I met Tabitha at a Labor Day party. She was very ingratiating. Tabitha immediately disclosed how she just purchased a sex toy, with a tongue attached to a suction device and how it is everything she requires in life. She goes on to share how she is Poly Solo. Poly Solo meaning many loves with emotional attachment although not having a primary partner. Tabitha equates having lovers too caring for plants, given each plant requires a different level of care. For example, some plants required very little water, while others require water three times per week. Some thrive in the sun, while others are best suited with indirect sunlight. She speaks of requiring substantial solitary time in order to show up in the world at her very best. Tabitha is keen on identifying precisely the needs of her lovers while ensuring her wants are met. She has a lover who requires nurturing once a month and happily, she obliges. She mentioned how she was involved with a married couple and enjoyed being intimate with the husband and how it was mutual. The husband asked if she was interested in a relationship independent of his wife, given they have an open marriage. The wife propositioned the exact scenario as the husband, although Tabitha found the wife extremely aggressive and opted not to engage exclusively with the wife. Overall, Tabitha said being the unicorn/third party in a marriage can be prickly. According to Tabitha, the downside of polyamory is falling in love with a partner and things suddenly ending and left with the task of picking up the pieces.
As a point of reference, Tabitha mentions a beloved girlfriend who is 87 and polyamorous. Her dear friend purchased a brownstone in the 1980s, moved in her besties into three apartments along with renting the additional units to single mothers along with families, and how it is a loving community, in which everyone looks out and cares for one another. The elders in the brownstone, occasionally provide childcare for the other tenants, while maintaining multiple lovers.
Tabitha likens being married to being taken for granted, overlooked, dismissed, and disregarded. She prefers to be desired and lusted over than be confined by societal norms.about:blank