loveless marriage Archives - Betrayal and Acrimony

March 31, 2021March 31, 2021

Ideal Wife

Gustavo was an obedient son. He married Karissa based on the guidance of his parents. Karissa was solely twenty years old with limited life experiences. Following the nuptials, the couple left Ecuador for New York City. Karissa worked as a hairdresser in the Bronx until she was able to purchase her very own salon. Gustavo secured work as a custodial worker at a local community college. They had four children born and raised in New York. In all the years of marriage, Karissa never experienced an orgasm or had any idea how to pleasure herself. Gustavo and Karissa respected one another and were fiscally responsible for their children. They coexisted. Thirty years into the marriage, Gustavo mustered up the courage to tell Karissa, I am moving back to Ecuador. I have never loved you. I only married you because my mother believed you to be the ideal wife. Gustavo’s confession left Karissa lost for words. There were no tears or pleading only a jarring silence. Karissa’s business provided far more than sustenance, it provided communal support and understanding.

March 3, 2021March 3, 2021

The Price we Pay

The courtship began in high school and continued throughout graduate school, culminating on their tenth anniversary. When Dario asked for Nori’s hand in marriage, she said yes because he cried, and she felt sorry for him. When Nori glanced at the ring, she found it rather small for ten years of dating. Nori worked in the private sector, a staunch saver and frugal, unlike Dario who worked in the public sector and had little to show for it. As the higher income earner, Nori carried more financial responsibility and was fine with it. Nori never had any interest in an elaborate wedding reception. She preferred the simplicity of flying to vegas. Dario wanted bells and whistles with 150 of his closest friends. Dario secured the venue, DJ, writing of invitations, seating arrangements, limos, honeymoon, while Nori singlehandedly paid for everything. She was never mistaken for a happy bride. Playing along for Nori was routine. The evening following the wedding reception, Nori had no interest in consummating the marriage. While on the honeymoon, Nori realized she had made a grave mistake in marrying Dario. Outside of a long courtship, there was very little they shared. There was no intimacy during the honeymoon. Upon returning from the honeymoon, Nori wanted to pack her belongings and leave Dario. The only thing preventing Nori from leaving the marriage were the opinions of people. Nori believed she had no options. Appeasing her parents and societal norms outweighed anything she ever wanted.

February 15, 2021February 15, 2021

Premium

Altagracia married her high school sweetheart. She was obedient, and never slept around. Married the first and only man with whom she was intimate. Altagracia dated and married a man who mirrored the relationship she witnessed growing up. Her mother although beautiful treated poorly. She was never a priority in her husbands’ life. He would leave for work at 5 am six days a week and would never return earlier than 8 pm. Leonel was always dismissive, spoke to his wife as though she was of little consequence. Patricia would call him at work and to no avail, he never returned her calls. Often on weekends, he would stay with friends drinking, never invited her to join, or even made her aware of his whereabouts. The unspoken rule, Leonel was the provider, so anything went. There was never any accountability for Leonel’s behavior or actions, he was glorified, as the man of the house. Birthdays, vacations, or celebrations were never part of the equation. Vacations entailed Leonel traveling to his homeland alone and for a month. Patricia was never happy about any of this. She never complained. Patricia internalized her pain and showed up in the world depressed. She lived her life in denial and utilized church as a form of escape. She was unheard, and unseen in the marriage. Not having to work or fend for herself kept her stagnant. The idea of financially supporting herself was daunting. Patricia grew accustomed to being taken care of and was willing to pay the premium.