relationships Archives - Page 2 of 2

January 4, 2021January 4, 2021

Beautifully Flawed

Despite Pauly’s parents’ reservations about Xiomara, he asked for her hand in marriage. His parents wanted someone with similar values, someone like them. Upon becoming engaged Pauly and Xiomara decided to remain abstinent until their wedding nite. The engagement was an elaborate affair with a seven-course dinner. Given Pauly’s deeply rooted pious upbringing, they agreed on a catholic church, requiring a marriage preparation program. The focus of the program is developing a sacramental marriage that will last a lifetime. Thereafter, the wedding reception was held at a very coveted establishment with two hundred and fifty of their closest friends. While in Hawaii, on their honeymoon Xiomara discovered she was pregnant. Xiomara was certain the child wasn’t Pauly’s given they had not been intimate in months. Throughout the honeymoon, she feigned being sick as a means of not consummating the marriage. Upon returning from the honeymoon, Xiomara confided in her parents about the pregnancy. Xiomara’s mother Dona Elsa provided two options (1) terminate the pregnancy or (2) lie about who the father is. After much deliberation, Xiomara told Pauly the truth, and the marriage was annulled.

November 2, 2020

Love via a Green Card..

Monica and Oko met on an online dating website. Oko seemed quiet, reserved, and pleasant, not Monica’s usual type. They made arrangements to meet up. Throughout the courtship, Monica was treated well. As things got serious in the relationship, finances were discussed and Monica learns of Oko’s migratory status in the country. Monica is established, unlike Oko, working under the table and living in the country illegally although a very hard worker. Monica agrees to marry Oko and hires an attorney to help resolve his immigration status. Within 90 days of being married Oko has temporary working papers. By all standards, the marriage was successful. Oko obtains a college degree in record time and quickly works his way up the corporate ladder. All financial responsibilities within the household were handled by Oko. Oko ensured Monica was provided for. By all accounts, Monica was happy, she kept it sexy while adhering to all her wifely duties. On the very day, Oko received his permanent green card, which was five years into the marriage, everything shifted. Oko would now pick and choose which bills he was going to pay. Going out to dinner, as well as outings now became a chore and deemed frivolous, by Oko. He would not come home for days and when he returned the indifference was palpable. The nuances of the marriage dissipated. Initially, Monica felt she was the reason everything changed although could not quite understand why. Months went by before Monica confronted Oko about the break within the marriage. Oko’s instinctive reply, I did not marry you for a green card. That’s when Monica realized it was all a labyrinth. She was solely Oko’s come up. She paved the way for his upward mobility. Monica understood why someone would go to such great lengths however had there been any transparency she would have happily agreed to marry for monetary compensation instead of heartache.

October 19, 2020

The Cost of the American Dream

Patria was the oldest of ten children, born to Don Miguel and Aurora. At the age of fourteen, Patria along with her father acquired visas and migrated to the United States, while leaving every single thing she knew behind. She longed to attend school and one day become a secretary. Don Miguel dismissed Patrias’ dream and was exacting about her securing full-time employment. Working conditions in the factory were laborious. Coming to America represented the forfeiture of Patrias’ childhood along with her dreams. It meant deplorable working conditions, riddled with exploitation, and denigration. Don Miguel’s goal was to work tirelessly alongside his daughter to secure the resources required, to ensure the remaining nine children and wife passage into the U.S. Patria worked for six years straight until reaching the age of twenty which was earmarked by two of her siblings entering the country. Patria ran into Gabriel, a former childhood neighbor from back home whose circumstances were contrary to Patrias. Gabriel’s family readily traveled to the U.S. on Holiday. As things would have it, Gabriel and Patria grew fond of one another and soon married. Gabriel treated Patria well, as the provider he ensured all her needs were met, never requiring Patria to contribute financially. Patria continued working to aid her father and siblings with securing resources for additional family members. The toll of unwavering commitment weighed heavily on her and continues to linger.

September 15, 2020September 15, 2020

Poly Solo

I met Tabitha at a Labor Day party. She was very ingratiating. Tabitha immediately disclosed how she just purchased a sex toy, with a tongue attached to a suction device and how it is everything she requires in life. She goes on to share how she is Poly Solo. Poly Solo meaning many loves with emotional attachment although not having a primary partner. Tabitha equates having lovers too caring for plants, given each plant requires a different level of care. For example, some plants required very little water, while others require water three times per week. Some thrive in the sun, while others are best suited with indirect sunlight. She speaks of requiring substantial solitary time in order to show up in the world at her very best. Tabitha is keen on identifying precisely the needs of her lovers while ensuring her wants are met. She has a lover who requires nurturing once a month and happily, she obliges. She mentioned how she was involved with a married couple and enjoyed being intimate with the husband and how it was mutual. The husband asked if she was interested in a relationship independent of his wife, given they have an open marriage. The wife propositioned the exact scenario as the husband, although Tabitha found the wife extremely aggressive and opted not to engage exclusively with the wife. Overall, Tabitha said being the unicorn/third party in a marriage can be prickly. According to Tabitha, the downside of polyamory is falling in love with a partner and things suddenly ending and left with the task of picking up the pieces.
As a point of reference, Tabitha mentions a beloved girlfriend who is 87 and polyamorous. Her dear friend purchased a brownstone in the 1980s, moved in her besties into three apartments along with renting the additional units to single mothers along with families, and how it is a loving community, in which everyone looks out and cares for one another. The elders in the brownstone, occasionally provide childcare for the other tenants, while maintaining multiple lovers.
Tabitha likens being married to being taken for granted, overlooked, dismissed, and disregarded. She prefers to be desired and lusted over than be confined by societal norms.about:blank

August 16, 2020September 3, 2020

Facade of a Marriage

Marissa is the youngest of two siblings in a pious Filipino family. Thru no choice of her own, she is part of a very non secular community. Everyone in her world looks and speaks just like her, homogenous and not by accident. Independent of her affinity for caucasian men, her parents are adamant about Marissa solely dating Filipino men. To the point, her father and brother assaulted her on several occasions for dating white guys. Marissa has repeatedly feared for her safety, from her family and has had to call the cops to intervene. Growing tired of the beatings from her father and brother, she gave up on dating outside her ethnic group and agreed to marry a Filipino guy, within six months of meeting. Marissa’s parents adore her husband, unlike Marissa who feels repulsed by him. Marissa’s husband is a great provider, terrific dad simply doesn’t resonate with Marissa. Within months of being married Marissa gets pregnant and has a baby girl. She finds sex with her spouse arduous.
Luckily for Marissa, her husband is not a very sexual guy and is happy having sex twice a month. Marissa is very keen on her appearance and exercise regimen. She joins a local gym, and before long finds, herself entangled in an affair with her trainer. Feeling a sense of obligation and responsibility to her spouse and recognizing she is in over her head, decides to end the affair. She is unhappy in a marriage, that appeases her parents. Marissa contemplates divorce although realizes she has no money of her own and no means of sustaining herself and maintaining her lifestyle. Habitually finding herself falling in love with different men as a means of escaping a reality in which she feels trapped.